My Mom will tell you herself that she is an emotional person – well, maybe she won’t. She’s a tough woman and always knows what to say to help my brothers and I see the big picture and know that everything will be okay. She’s great at listening to us cry and staying strong, at least until we get off the phone, for us.

She had all the right words yesterday, everything will be fine, it’s just a precaution, maybe the baby is just going to be small. I think what she does in terms of babies – you get what God gives you. You don’t get to pick and you don’t get to change your mind.

But at the end of the conversation when I told her the baby is a girl, that’s when she started crying.

Course, of eleven (twelve including this baby) grandkids, only two (three) are girls so I suppose that is one reason to be emotional.

My dr’s appointment went well today. It was for the anatomy ultrasound – you know, check out the heart, bone growth, etc. She found the baby’s leg right away and we both realized the baby is measuring small. I am supposed to be 22 weeks tomorrow, but combining all the measurements and the baby is measuring at 19 weeks tomorrow. I did get to see the baby all over and she sent us home with lots of pictures – profile, face, foot, leg and a few more. I love it when they do that, I have several ultrasound pics of the other kids too.

Due to the baby measuring so small, I am now considered a high risk pregnancy and am in the process of being transferred to a different hospital. I know I did nothing wrong and I also know this is a baby that is determined to be here! She (wishing again!) managed to be conceived despite a tough birth control to get past after all.

I should know when my next appointment will be later today. One of the nurses is taking care of transferring me and said they’ll probably want me there within a week. It’s overwhelming and emotional to think about.

Oh and I had previously declined the triple screen blood test that is offered but they asked again today if I would reconsider, and I did.

I also asked the ultrasound tech to tell me what the sex is – we had agreed not to find out but considering the circumstances, I had to know. And I was right, it’s a girl.

(The tech did say that could change but she is usually not wrong, and boys are usually clearly seen and if you can’t tell then it’s usually a girl. A lot of usually’s!)

I’ve felt the baby moving – I actually felt the baby early on – but somehow I still worry. It’s that I don’t know how big I should be, which is dumb to worry about because every baby and every pregnancy is completely different. I’m sure everything is fine, my gut tells me this. But it doesn’t stop me from thinking and wondering.

And then I think okay when do I call the dr if I’m really concerned? My dr’s appt is next week so I don’t have much longer to wait to actually see her.

I am under a lot of stress right now and of course the baby newsletter that I get picks this week to tell me I need to have as little stress in my life as possible! Ahhhh! It talked about how having a very stressful life/pregnancy could lead to a low birth weight baby something to do with your body and how it handles cortisol.

Adding everything together, it makes me want to run to the dr…in a few days. I think since I don’t feel an immediate need to see the dr, I’m okay.

Today I am 20 weeks. I don’t feel like I am 20 weeks though! I browsed around a couple of websites today to see how big the baby is (10 inches long!) and how big other people are (it really ranges from person to person). I took a couple of pictures but didn’t have pictures this early with my other kids. With them I waited until June or July to take belly pictures – and they were both born in August!

Here is me laying down on the bed ~

Not really a baby bump, I don’t think.

Then here is standing in the bathroom (excuse the dirty mirror! Haha I didn’t realize it was that bad.) ~

Sure I have a tummy in this picture – but I think it is the baby growing and pushing the chubbiness up and out. So it isn’t a baby belly, it’s a chubby belly. Hahaha
I’ve been feeling great though.I don’t think I’ve gained anything (though I haven’t weighed myself in a couple of weeks) and I don’t go back to the dr until the end of the month. That is when we have the ultrasound to measure the baby’s growth, heart, etc. And of course if we want to find out the sex, we can. I don’t think we are going to though. We didn’t with Alice (though mother’s instinct told me she was a girl) and we did with Jake (but again I felt like he was a boy anyway) and this time I think we want a surprise. I don’t feel either way yet – well sometimes I do, but others I doubt myself.

I’m home from getting my legs waxed. All I have to say is … ouch!

I thought the hair was supposed to be a quarter of an inch long so I haven’t shaved for two whole weeks, a few days past two weeks actually. But when I get there the girl says it is a bit long and it might hurt more then usual. “You’re pregnant? It might hurt more because of that too.” Oh goody.

The appointment took the whole 30 minutes and I think I’m 95% satisfied. She missed a small part on the back of one leg and there are stray hairs here and there. But I’m not comfortable laying on my stomach anymore so I couldn’t turn over to have her do the back so I suppose that’s expected.

She said that my hair will grow back faster this time around but after a while I’ll probably be able to just come in once a month. That made me think – do I really want to invest in this? I have no problem paying for my hair to get done every six weeks or so (that comes with having short hair!) but will waxing be worth it? The hair still has to grow out to the 1/8 of an inch-ish, so I’m not sure. She did say that once I get started waxing I should stick to it, or you just have to start back over again.

As far as pain, yeah it did hurt. It stung and then for about 45-60 minutes my legs tingled. Actually they are still kind of tingly and it’s been two hours. The pain really wasn’t that bad but I also think I have a slightly higher tolerance for pain too, so don’t take my word for it.

I called today and made my appt to get my legs waxed! After talking to the girl on the phone I decided to do a half leg wax, which is just the bottom part. It’s $20 cheaper so why not. My hair doesn’t grow as fast, nor as thick/dark on my thighs anyway so I suppose it’s okay.

I only have to wait a couple of days! I need to buy some tylenol to take beforehand but otherwise I’m prepared. I know it’s going to sting but I can handle it. I had two babies naturally! A little leg waxing won’t be that bad.

Now to only get through these couple of days without driving myself crazy. I don’t have plans to go anywhere so I can wear shorts around the house in comfort.