Yesterday at the birthday party, one of the girls there had a baby. He was a tiny guy, five weeks old, and I knew I should hold him. I actually have been thinking about that for the past week or so, holding a baby when the time comes or presents itself. And so yesterday I did.

I didn’t feel that ‘oh what a cute baby’ thing right away. I don’t think I felt that at all when I was holding him, which was a couple of different times. Sure he was a cute baby, a little fussy but overall fine. But I think it was a good step for me to take. Once I started thinking about George I gave the baby back to his Mom, that happened both times.

I’ve really been trying to use my crockpot a lot lately. I just don’t feel like cooking like ‘usual’ and the crockpot is such a saver! I just found a chicken recipe that I wanted to try and I just can’t find the blog it was on. I knew the ingredients (chicken, salsa, cream of mushroom, taco seasoning) and just did a search for them on Google.

This blog post was the first thing that came up – Crockpot Chicken – so I followed that recipe. My chicken was partially (or maybe even mostly) thawed but it was perfectly fine. It all ended up staying in the crockpot on warm for a bit (my crockpot goes to warm once the time is done) because we were at a birthday party. After shredding the chicken – which was so super easy, it just about fell apart – and adding the rest of the ingredients, I think it was one of the best meals I’ve ever made. Seriously. And I think I’m a pretty darn good cook.

Try that recipe and let me know what you think. I didn’t take a picture but also didn’t serve it with lettuce or cheese. I think it still tasted awesome. I’m going to check my recipes to see what other crockpot ones I have, it was great to just throw a few things together and have dinner ready in what felt like minutes!

Finally today I made one of the breakfast sandwiches I’ve been meaning to make forever now. And I only have two words to say – SO GOOD! I fried an egg on the stove, popped the english muffin into the toaster and grabbed our shredded cheese out of the fridge. A few brief minutes later and I was eating – and I’m going to make the same thing tomorrow but for everyone instead of just me. I have a bunch of english muffins and I’m debating making a bunch to throw in the freezer, they are so quick to make but then having them already made would eliminate the dishes I suppose.

Plus we have really been going through milk lately! I’m not sure what is going on with the kids but they are drinking a gallon a day or two days. I know you can freeze milk but I haven’t tried yet. It’s just as easy for Chris to swing by the store on the way home from work.

How do you snack? I am a muncher. I grabbed tortilla chips and salsa tonight, other nights it has been popcorn (sometimes with m&ms) but I do go healthy too, carrots and dip or celery and peanut butter. My Grandma used to just eat one chip or one handful of popcorn, just one of whatever. I’m sure she is still that way. But I never understood how you can have just one! I can have just one of a piece of good chocolate, but that’s about it.

Of course being a muncher isn’t the best habit to have, it reminds me of eating mindlessly, just eating for no reason, I mean I’m not always hungry, but it’s there. It is emotional eating sometimes, which isn’t good either. I’ve been doing great during the day, eating four small meals rather then snacking on something in the afternoon I have a small something healthy, then dinner. The kids and I have been eating four meals a day for a couple of weeks now, its working out great since they would be snackers otherwise!

Last week the kids and I decided we would start walking every day. We went out on Monday before lunch but it was so hot we didn’t last longer then a few minutes. We talked to our neighbors who said they would love to go with us – and that was the end of it. Twice last week I couldn’t go to sleep before 3AM, which meant I slept in, which was too late for a walk. I figured okay today is a new week, a new start to walking every day.  Waking up early didn’t help, we all woke up early today but that just gave us time to clean up and have a good start to our day and week.

It is starting to cool off here so we can walk later then 9AM, maybe we’ll actually start doing so soon.

I’ve been trying to watch what I eat, I’ve lost a few pounds and need to get back to planning what we are going to eat. We’ve been grocery shopping at Costco, which means we have the equivalent of a small store in our pantry. This weekend we didn’t do that great, we had pizza (a huge one from Costco so we had leftovers for a couple of meals), wings and hot dogs. Not the greatest diet, not by a long shot! I don’t mind cooking but sometimes it feels like we are eating very heavy foods. Maybe we’ll have a salad tonight.

I have a two week follow up appointment tomorrow. I’m not nervous, I know the drs won’t be able to tell me everything and they might not even be able to tell me anything. We do have a handful of test results they should tell us.

I’m still kind of shocked about my dr calling hte other day. That I had to tell her that my baby died. I had to tell her. Me who doesn’t even feel like talking to my closest friends on the phone just yet had to tell my dr.

What kind of a system doesn’t even have the updated records in a timely manner? Or finds out if there may be more results before calling, considering the high risk situation?

Ah well, tomorrow I see my high risk drs who I must say are awesome. They are simply so great. Our patient care at the hospital was the best we have ever experienced, and we told everyone so. I don’t even have any questions for the drs, but I’m sure I will once they start telling the results.

I have to admit that I’ve been shocked at the records transfer here at our hospital. I can be seen at the military hospital, but would have had to deliver at a different hospital. When I got the confirmation letter from the different hospital (a few months ago) they had the wrong date on my pending admittance. After a quick phone call it was corrected, but how hard would it have been to get it right?

I got a phone call this afternoon from my military hospital dr., who is very nice and I liked a lot. However, due to I think she said painting going in on the OB dept, she didn’t receive the first results of the amnio until today. It was actually one of the nurses who called and when I said the baby died a week and a half ago she quickly gave the phone to my dr. After a few minutes of talking I realized none of the other results after the initial amnio have been sent to the military hospital either. I have a dr’s appt this week, a two week followup, and I will ask when everything will be sent over there. I know I won’t forget, but I would like all the records to be identical.

My dr also asked if I wanted a birth control (um, NO!) and if we were planning on having more kids. I told her it was too soon for us to decide that but I was glad she asked because I was wondering what would happen if we did. It turns out that since George died, any pregnancy that comes up will be considered high risk and I would be transferred immediately to either MUSC if we are here, or whichever high risk ob was close depending on where we are stationed. I breathed a sigh of relief at that. My experience at MUSC was THE best – the nurses were so great, the drs were awesome, it really was the best patient care I’ve ever received. I definitely want drs experienced with more then the standard obs typically are.

I’ve been thinking about what to write about here. We are all still okay.

My Mom may not visit as planned due to a possible meeting date change, which stinks but that’s okay. We may go back home for Christmas, prices of airline tickets and Chris’ ability to get leave pending of course. We just started talking about it over the weekend and have yet to check prices but I’m sure we can find decent ones.

I got a survey from the hospital we stayed at, asking about my experiences while we were there. Chris thought that was awkward for me to have to do but it wasn’t too bad. Really we had THE best service ever there, hands down ever, compared to any other hospital we were at. It was so stellar we ended up telling various nurses and a few drs how happy we were.

The kids are talking about the baby every other day or so, some of it is funny stories and some of it makes me cry.

One of the funny stories was Alice gave me a hug as I was standing on my tiptoes, stretching. She said my tummy wasn’t hard anymore, because before she could feel the baby when she hugged me. We talked about George not being here anymore and she said now I was just chubby, not pregnant. You have to laugh at a six year old who says that! Or at least I did.

It’s even funnier because when Mom was here before Alice asked if she was pregnant or was she just chubby. It’s just these little observances that kids make that create laughter and stories for days.

Being able to laugh when talking about George feels good.